What is a Stalker?

The legal definition of a stalker is a person who pursues another person they have an imaginary relationship with. Stalking is invasive, secretive, and attempts to cause harm/injury or instill fear in the victim. Stalkers follow people to their homes, hack personal accounts, and are “peeping Toms”.

Cyber stalking is the act of bullying and/or harassing someone on the internet. Cyber stalkers usually attack a person for who they are, try to convince them to harm themselves, or threaten to harm the victim.

I have noticed a bizarre cultural behavior in America. When someone doesn’t like another person, or isn’t attracted to someone, they will label them a stalker. This is to avoid being honest. Sometimes people don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by rejecting them, but calling someone a stalker is just as creepy as stalkers themselves. In fact, I find wrongly labeling someone as a stalker is malicious.

I had an unfortunate experience over the last year where I met a man who was very friendly toward me from the time we met. I was seeing someone at the time, so I wasn’t very astute to his friendliness. Months passed, and a couple of weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend, it became open season again. During those months this man and I had become good friends. Close enough that if I wrote on his facebook page or messaged him, it was because I felt comfortable doing so. Little did I know that asking him how he’s doing, or mentioning some cool art or wildlife related thing to him, would get me labeled as a cyber stalker. Nothing I said was within the legal definition of a stalker. I am a tough woman, and I felt like since we were experiencing the same hardship, it was all right to be myself around him. Because that’s what you do with friends, you act like yourselves, I mean, that’s the point isn’t it?

If you don’t want to talk to me, think I’m annoying, or don’t like me, you have every right to feel that way about me. But hiding those feelings by making me look like something I’m not, is cowardly. What’s sad is that by pushing me away, he lost me as a friend. I wonder if it was worth it.


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