I am Not a Feminist Because….

It seems that if we are feminists we don’t need to explain to people why we make that choice. But for some reason, choosing not to be a feminist requires some sort of explanation. My reasons for choosing not to be a feminist are my own business, and will continue to stay that way. And if you’ve read enough of my blog entries, then you know that the last thing I will do is let anyone think for me, or dictate how I live my life.

But if you really desire that explanation, I’ll give it to you. I think my view on this matter is interesting, and worth writing about and reading about.

I cannot view myself as above other people. I cannot see some people as worth more or less than others. The term “feminist” suggests that women have a superiority to men. Let’s just get this straight – no gender has a superiority over another gender, simply because of what is between their legs. Period. Bashing men, insulting men, making fun of men who are abused and/or raped, will not stop women from being victims of those same things. Furthermore, slavery, segregation, and the death penalty were founded on the idea that some lives are worth more than others. The founders of Planned Parenthood supported abortion because they wanted to trim the black population. Susan B. Anthony believed that the white woman’s right to vote was more important than the black man’s right to vote. That’s right, some suffragists were black, and they didn’t get the right to vote until the 1960’s. That is not equality.

Around half of rape victims (48% to be exact) are men. Of that number, nearly half of them have been raped by women. We seem to have this mentality that rape is always done by physical force. Sometimes we acknowledge the date rape drug, but a lot of the time we don’t. And what about psychological force? Men are the ones who sleep with anyone. They’re the ones who are sluts. They’re the ones who need to get laid. So if a woman tells a man “this is what you want”, then forces him to penetrate her, that’s not consensual, that’s rape. You can’t tell someone that what you want is also what they want. And psychological force shouldn’t be so hard to believe, given what pedophiles do to children.

If a woman becomes pregnant after being raped, not all, but many people will support her choice to have an abortion. This is a good thing. However, if a man is raped by a woman, and a child is born from that, he has to pay child support. He never has the option to abort. He never has a say in anything, mainly because so few people will believe he was raped. So if I can abort, why can’t he?

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4 Responses

  1. First off, choosing to label yourself something doesn’t suggest superiority. Saying you’re a humanist doesn’t suggest you are better than non-humans. I’m a scientist by profession. That doesn’t mean I think the scientific method is the best way to examine all aspects of life. I support science within a context, in my case at work. I also support feminism within contexts, like equal pay for equal work, and equal opportunities in hiring and promotion (the glass ceiling).

    I’m unsure that you knew where you were going after the first paragraph. The ability to obtain a safe, legal abortion is important, mostly because we haven’t solved poverty. Most women who abort are poor, whatever else their circumstance. Feminists oppose rape and all forms of sexual assault in general, no matter the gender of the victim. No one denies that men get raped, or that it’s wrong.

    The difference in which person has the last word in what to do about a pregnancy isn’t as much an issue of feminism as one of legal protections upon personal safety. There are many risks during pregnancy a woman can die from. Though it’s surely traumatic (as it is with any kind of assault victim), no man who has been raped will ever die from complications during a pregnancy. So, even though two parties may be involved in the creation of a pregnancy, the party at physical risk is going to have the final say on how to proceed.

    • Calling myself a feminist will not make me superior to anyone, true. It’s the actions which I mention in this blog that make someone believe they are superior to someone else.

      I’m wondering if you actually read my post… I mentioned child support, and that men don’t have the option to abort, because they cannot remove themselves from the child which reminds them of being raped. And yes, that does put that man in physical risk, because it is harmful to his mental health, and could potentially lead to suicide, which both male and female rape victims sometimes turn to.

      • You’ve incorrectly defined “physical risk” with regards to law. It has to be imminent and direct causation. Potential mental distress, possibly leading to suicide is risk, but it isn’t physical risk.

        Sure, practically anything we do involves risk. Law tries to prioritize risks that are more likely. Hundreds of women die each year from complications of childbirth. Show me where even a dozen men per year kill themselves over being unhappy their partner had an abortion, or being ordered to pay child support.

        I’m not trying to denigrate what all rape victims go through, most symptoms being related to PTSD. It’s just in a different class of risk legally speaking.

        • You keep saying that, as if you think I somehow have an issue with abortion. I don’t, and I thought I made it very clear that I don’t. What I have an issue with, and people not being treated equality. What a woman goes through is NOT more important than what a man goes through, and vice versa. “I mentioned child support, and that men don’t have the option to abort, because they cannot remove themselves from the child which reminds them of being raped.” Reading is fundamental.

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